Vers l'absurde

Sugar and stupidity.

"Do you want to go to a wedding tomorrow night?"

Idiot me, when caught off-guard, I always respond "yes". I bet I would respond in the affirmative if someone randomly asked me, "Do you want to get lunch" or "Do you want to take a BB gun and shoot raccoons?" I have this weird knee-jerk "yes" response, and only afterwards do I actually think of what I agreed to. Seriously, someday some random person will ask me, "Hey, do you want to get married?" and I will say yes because I do before I think and wow, won't that be an adventure. And by adventure, I mean interesting mess.

Incidentally, do you ever entertain the notion of marrying someone just because everyone else would have near-heart attacks reading your wedding announcement? I do. Sadly, I have lots of options along those lines. And each option would be HYSTERICAL. I can make myself laugh thinking of people's reactions. And that, in a nutshell, is why I am nowhere near ready to get married yet.

Anyway, back to the wedding. Stupid Nick was in town (I really need to come up with a nickname for him, but can't. Fuckhead's already taken, so is Stupidhead.. I think this just leaves Big Dumb Moron, so henceforth he will be BDM, at least for this post).

I know I have talked about BDM before, and probably at nauseating length. For, you see, seven years of him being in love with me has left me with lots of fodder. He visited me - without really asking me, hrm - when I was in Paris. He was the only one with whom I really ever had "the talk". He's hit on me in front of boyfriends, and has offered to take me to El Bulli when I was practically sprawled across another guy's lap and obviously going home with this other guy that night. BDM's casually brought up the idea of us getting married a couple of times. The cincher is that he has done all of this while dating another girl, the same girl, and really, I feel sort of bad for her. Because I really don't encourage this, unless by encourage you mean being his friend, because we have known each other for seven years, but hi, after seven years of dating other guys and NOT HIM you think he would get the point. Or at least give up. Believe me, I am not harboring any secret hope of us ever getting together. Besides, if I said the word I know he'd dump his girlfriend, he's already offered of his own voilition.

Anyhow. He was in town over Thanksgiving weekend, and had a family wedding to go to, and idiot that I am, said that sure, I'd love to go.

And then we got off the phone, after making plans to meet up for drinks after dinner, and then I realised what I had agreed to. It would have been like this, but five hundred times worse because everyone would think that I was his girlfriend, BUT I AM NOT, and that would not have been easily explained, why he brought a girl who was not his girlfriend while he actually has a girlfriend and oh my gosh, I have a headache thinking of it already.

Luckily, the wedding seating chart couldn't be changed so I couldn't go. Thankfully. Even though I love going to weddings, and this one was in a very pretty place, but THE HEADACHE. Not to mention, I would have had to have dealt with him for a whole night, and I can't even tolerate 2 hours of drinking with him because inevitably, he will bring up marriage again and blahblahblah even though I will ask him about his girlfriend and how she is doing and ooh, the latest article of hers that I read was very interesting (she is a journalist). This last time, he said that he could never see himself married to his girlfriend even though they have been dating off and on for something like SIX years now, but wait! I would make a perfect marriage candidate! I cook! I am educated! And will never make more money! And inevitably, he will get all touchy feely like we are dating BUT WE ARE NOT and to the point where I start to shoot him dirty looks and give pleading looks to the bartender begging him for more alcohol so that I don't punch BDM in the face.

Oh shit. I hope I didn't somewhere in there agree to go to a wedding with him in two weeks. Seriously, I need someone who will hit me every time I talk before I think. But then I would be waaay bruised.

Which gives rise to the question, why do I even hang out with him? And the answer to that is found in the second paragraph of this post. Because more often than not, I respond "yes". Because I don't think.

And this time, well! He invited me up to his family's cabin in Tahoe for New Year's Eve. I asked him for a run-down of the guest list, and interesting, no girlfriend was on it, but some of my good friends who I haven't seen in over a year are, and I am an idiot for considering flying up there, because I haven't been to Tahoe in awhile. Because like that's not just a disaster waiting to happen, being stuck in a cabin with BDM over New Year's Eve.

Not to mention, Tahoe shares a border with Nevada and is close to Reno. And if someone proposes marriage, I might be that idiot who says yes because I'm drunk and it's a funny idea.

In other news, I went back to like the happiest breakfast (okay, any meal, they have good soups and sandwiches and salads too) place ever, which I used to go to often but then I had to go to the horrible East coast for school and regretfully haven't gotten in the habit of going back to since I've been back, and the waiters - okay, just one waiter - has apparently started recognizing me ("Hey, didn't you use to come in here like a lot and then you didn't come for a very long time and now you're back?"), and now he's calling me "hot stuff" which is so funny and amusing and what it comes down to is that I like it when people in restaurants recognise me (why else do you think I ate at the same restaurant in Paris at least once a week?), I am a sucker for it, and do you think that if I flirt with him enough I will get free red velvet cake out of it? Because I love me my red velvet cake. and I am not above shameless flirting if it means I can get it for free.


I mean, look at it. Mmmm. So yummy. So worth future shameless flirting.