Attractive matters.
So when I posted a comment at Sunday Undies, saying blissfully that HA HA I hadn't started peeling yet, I spoke too soon. Not 10 minutes after writing that, I reached to scratch my back (which I had been doing a lot of lately, I look like I have fleas or something) and lo and behold, I took some skin with me.
Now my back looks like that of a snake that hasn't learned how to shed properly. By that, I mean, I'm peeling. Slowly. In bits and pieces.
Damn sunburn incurred from playing Scrabble. Scrabble. At the very least I could have been doing something cool, like surfing. Too bad that will never happen, as I will never surf, because 1) I do not get into bodies of water unless I can see my toes clearly and 2) I hate getting water in my eyes, to the point that the while I was tempted by competitive swimming way back when, I would still only do backstroke. But I was always scared of hitting my head against the wall (that stroke counting thing with the flags? Does Not Work), and sometimes I swam crooked because I might have gotten distracted by the blue blue California sky. That was the end of competitive swimming for me. Too bad, because I was darn good. When I was focused. Such is the story of my life.
Anyway, so much for prancing around the house naked slathered in aloe last week (aloe is slimy, hence the going about the house naked. My roommate was out of town, and besides, he's gay. My being naked is not even remotely appealing to him). Aloe did not save me.
I now spend my free time naked (but only in my room, because now my roommate is back and I don't think he really appreciates naked me), in contorted positions so that I can examine my back in my mirrors, seeing which bit of skin gets to be removed next. The peeling might be getting better. I've been examining it carefully.
It is so appealing.
This is how I get the guys, y'all. My sparkling wit and great looks have nothing to do with it.
It's all about me and my peeling back. Or my massive bugbites. Or the plague I had on my ankle.
And that fact that I'm willing to share all of this with you.
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