vendredi 17 juin 2005

It just gets more fascinating.

Because I like posting pictures that have nothing to do with my story.
But yummy, clam strips and a damn good lobster roll on Cape Ann.

Hey! New news! Apparently, Fake Boyfriend might have actually been a real boyfriend!

Confused? So am I! So are all my friends! But let's go back a little.

Scene: Prom.
FB: Hey, what are you doing the 18th of June?
Me: Probably being drunk, why?
FB: You're coming to a wedding with me then.
Me: Cool! I love weddings!
[An hour or so later]
Me, recounting wedding info to friends: But hey, is it kosher for me to go home with someone else? It's not like I'm going to sleep with FB, and weddings are great places to get laid.

Scene: A couple of days ago, on the phone.
FB: You know the wedding is this weekend, right?
Me: Yes, you keep reminding me. Like every time I talk to you.
FB: So what are you wearing?
Me: This Diane I have that I haven't worn in awhile. Ooh, and my gold shoes!
FB: Not your Kentucky Derby dress?
Me: No, that one hurts like hell.
FB: What does this dress look like?
Me: It's brown, and cream, and gold. And there's some sheer panelling around the sides. Why?
FB: Well, I was going to wear a black suit, but I can't wear it if you're wearing brown. We'll clash.
Me: Dearie, we do not have to match. We'd only have to worry about coordinating if we were getting married, which we're not, and then if we were getting married, the coordination of outfits would have happened a long time ago - not to mention, I'd be wearing ivory, and almost everything goes with that.

Scene: Last night, at a bar with FB and his work friends, celebrating his last day of work.
My friend: Hey, so one of the girls said that you two [me and FB] had a "history".
My friend: A HISTORY.
Me: Like, we have a history of FRIENDSHIP, but since we're still friends it's not a HISTORY?
My friend: No, they mean a HISTORY like in DATING.
Me: We NEVER dated.
My friend: Well, that's not what everyone else thinks.
Me: It's what I KNOW. Sleeping together ONE TIME does not a relationship make. But hey, in this quote-unquote history, am I cast in a positive light or a negative light?
My friend: Positive, not like you're a stalker. And, well, it puts that whole bicoastal comment his friend made into context.
Me: NOT DATING. [pause] I need another drink. What the hell does he go around telling people that makes them think we're dating? Did you know that our hairdresser in Paris thought we'd moved in together?
My friend: Oh, and the wedding you're going to on Saturday? It's a date.
Me: It's a WHAT?
My friend: A DATE. Have you suddenly gone deaf?
Me: I almost wish I had. What the fuck is a date about this weekend? Where the hell is the bartender?
My friend: And all his friends say that he's scared you're going to cancel last minute because you'll realise it's a date.
Me: It is NOT a DATE. But no wonder he calls me about it like every single day.
My friend: There you go.
Me: But... but.. he promised me that there'd be some tall strapping 6'4 blue-eyed athlete there because everyone's from North Carolina. Does that mean he's pimping me out?
My friend: You two apparently have a really open relationship!
Me: Let's go back to the fact that Saturday is a DATE. It is NOT. I am going because we are FRIENDS and I am cute and can make good conversation.
My friend: Well, that's not what he's been telling everyone, and it's not what he thinks.
Me: What the HELL is wrong with him, I swear I'm going to smack him upside the head. [pause] Hey! I wonder when we dated? Was it this year, or was it four years ago? Because I probably cheated on him whenever it was!
My friend: And he knew about it. You two do have an open relationship.

If I wasn't so nice (and didn't love weddings so much and didn't hate other people who cancel last minute), I'd so call him tomorrow a couple of hours before the wedding and tell him that I'm cancelling because I'd like it to be a date, and isn't it so sad that it isn't? Heeheehee. But hey! It's a good thing one of my friends made me an "emergency kit" for graduation composed of peach vodka and tonic that I didn't consume over graduation. It might be time to tap into those reserves.

And hey! My horoscope said that this weekend, an old flame would either come into my life or that I'd be attracted to someone who wasn't my type (covering their bases, are they).