vendredi 21 juillet 2006

Up close and personal.

Only at a Harvard-Yale-Princeton-blahblahblahotherschoolsincludingnonIviesbutnoBrown mixer is an "acceptable" opening line, "So, what school did you go to?" Go away. You (or your parents) paid well over $120K for an education. Surely you have more imagination than that.

Since I am operating on only 4 hours of sleep, and I need to start making food for my party tomorrow, I thought I would kindly provide you with some choice personals from the latest issue of the Hahvard alumni magazine. For an additional $40 (this is on top of the $5/word rate), you can have your personals ad outlined by a crimson border. Crimson! How clever! Obviously, these people really really want to find significant others. So I will post them here for your enjoyment.
Malibu's Most Eligible Bachelorette, Award-winning radio journalist Lives in a beach house in Southern California, knows "real love" because of a marriage to a remarkable man who died 3 years ago. I'm young 50s, 5'7", athletic, and read for next wonderful Life Partner. Are you? [email redacted].
And has lots of baggage if she's mentioning her now-dead husband in her ad.
Enormously attractive art curator. Combines Southern graciousnes with clear intelligence, insight, and warmth. Obvious love for life coupled with serious care about work. Unfussy, clever, engagingly self-deprecating and successful. Described by 24-year-old trainer as "ripped" "sexy" "cute" - "definitely has game." Athletic with slender delicate beauty and a passion for photography, looking at paintings, movies, dogs, running, boxing for exercise, talking about politics - not a fan of current regime. Believes nothing beats dinners with friends and lots of laughs. Seeks smart, accomplished, East Coast, man 54-60s for wonderful lasting relationship full of caring and humor. [email and phone redacted].
Obviously this one is a catch because she used a lot of words in her ad, which meant that she cared enough to spend a lot of money, and then spent even more on the crimson border! And I don't know how I feel about providing my phone number. It's a little weird.
Grandpa's Golden Girl. Lawrence Welk era. Attractive, fit, blue-eyed blonde. Seeking active gentleman 65-75. [phone redacted].
If she hadn't spent the $40 on the border, she could have fit 8 more words into her ad.

And this, even though it didn't have a red border, is hands down my favourite personals in the section.
Har '77, artist, petite, pretty, irreverant [sic]. Looking for love and partner in adventure. By the way, I'm pregnant. Wondering if I'll receive a single reply. [email redacted].
At least she's honest.