jeudi 22 juin 2006

Why I love soccer.

Even though the US just lost this morning and won't be continuing on, there are plenty of reasons for me to love soccer.

  1. Hot guys. Seriously. Since I am currently not doing anything, I have spent a LOT of time looking up pictures of the different teams. Disclaimer: I watch sports based on the cuteness of the guys. Sure, this might be shallow, but I need somewhere to start.

    I have come to the tentative conclusion, based on head shots only, that the Swedish team might be one of the most attractive teams out there. This was a very hard decision, with the English and the Australians, and even the Dutch coming in close behind. (Why yes. My taste does run towards tall blue-eyed blonds. Like half of my damn exes.) (Addendum: Say hellllllo to the Brazilians.) This is not to say that there are some select hotties on other teams - too many for me to pick out and link to. Why am I not in Germany right now, dammit? Why did I not hang out with the soccer team more in college? Why did I not visit FB when he was playing pro soccer in Europe? So many unanswerable questions!

    Other team observations:
    • Most of the Brazilian team is made up of guys with only one name, which amuses me.
    • The pictures of the Argentinian team look like they were taken with a special lens that focused on making their noses as big as possible. Or maybe Argentinians just have big noses. I don't know.
    • I understand why the Dutch team wears orange, but there is such a thing as taking it too far. They look like a bunch of little fluorescent highlighters running around my TV screen. Plus, orange is not a very flattering colour on most people. That I still think they're cute in spite of their ugly uniforms says mounds about the attractiveness of the team.
    • Additionally, a good number of guys (on all the teams) would probably be cuter if only they had cut their hair already. Soccer does not equal grunge.
  2. The theatrics. This is why I also like rugby and hockey, although those might be more violent as opposed to full of whiny guys who fall at the drop of a hat and bemoan their pains to all who will listen. Hrm. I can personally relate to this. Have I told you about the finger I jammed playing kickball yet?

  3. The sheer enthusiasm of the commentators on Univision. (No, I don't have cable. If you would like to pay for cable for me, that would be aweseome. Then I could intersperse soccer with the Food Network.) Added bonus: I get to practice my Spanish comprehension!

  4. The game keeps going, despite abovementioned theatrics. There is no stopping/restarting. This is why I don't watch a good number of sports (ie, football, baseball, basketball) because the games always come to a complete halt before the teams get into formation again, and this happens a lot (Plus, I really don't think there are enough cute guys on those teams to merit the torture of those sports). Also, even though such games are only supposed to last X minutes, in reality they last X + YYY minutes, whereby YYY is some large number that drags out the game to infinity and beyond, also allowing for annoying things like commercials and extended pauses for the camera to focus on the commentators and allow them to yak. Soccer games last 90 minutes, plus halftime and a couple extra minutes of overtime. This is nice and concise.
Funnier reading about soccer by Dave Eggers here. And be sure to check out Michael Davies daily here. I didn't understand the pants analogy for the longest time (which is how he judges the English team. Short pants? Girly capri pants?), but I think I'm getting it now.