The book really isn't that good, but this passage is also awesome.
Plus, I sent it to one of my friends at her work address, and it immediately bounced back due to the usage of a certain word. So I re-sent it to her, oh-so-cleverly substituting pen for the word in question, which worked. But her work still thinks I'm a dirty email spammer. And I am going to leave it as pen, because it is sort of funnier that way.
Later that day, I met Cordelia for lunch. She told me about her new boyfriend, Naldo, who was a waiter at Bookbinders and grew up in Wisconsin.
“He has a very big pen, which is a problem,” she said.
“His pen is so large it’s actually a problem?” I said.
“It doesn’t interfere with the act itself,” she said. “It’s just, I’m suspicious of men with big pens.”
“I think it’s hard for them to be faithful, because they keep wanting to show it to people.”
I considered this for a moment “It’s like having a really great car that you can only drive on a closed track,” I said.
“And men like other people to see their cars. That one fact explains the entire city of Los Angeles. So for a man to have a really big pen and settle down with just one woman goes completely against his nature. Doubly against it.”
“Maybe we should look for men with such tiny pens that they’re ashamed of them,” I said.
“Even men with tiny pens aren’t ashamed of them,” said Cordelia. “God knows they should be, but they never are.”
-The Big Love, Sarah Dunn