Wherein I win AGAIN; subtitled: I am really super-competitive.
On a side note, no big cathartic feeling of freedom now that I'm done with work for the quarter. Oh well. Doesn't mean I can shamelessly pamper myself and go shopping and drink a lot - oh wait, I do that all the time. Maybe that's why this doesn't feel super-special. Anyway...
Oh, one more aside. If ONE MORE GUY starts off a sentence with, "For a girl, you're good at..." I will kick him in the shins. Recent examples I have heard repeatedly include: "For a girl, you're awfully good at giving directions" and "For a girl, you're a good driver." Yes, I am excellent at both, as I excel at everything. But seriously. Just lose the qualifying phrase, "for a girl", else shin-kicking will ensue. At least this houseguest doesn't leave the toilet seat up nor wear too much cologne.
So, I swear that I'm over my ex. Really. It's been over a year since we talked (although I did see him a couple of months ago), and in reality, I was over him and back to my usual footloose and fancy ways a month after we broke up (which brings to question the state of our relationship, if it didn't mean that much to me). Admittedly, I do refer to him a bit because he was a significant part of my life for those two-plus years, which is a large chunk of my dating life especially given that all my other relationships are screwy.
Of course, however, I like to keep tabs on him, as I do with all my exes (although I talk to most of them, making my job infinitely easier), and in this marvelous day and age with Google and the internet, it's dreadfully easy. (Not to mention, I'm in the same field as his mother [her best friends have been and are my advisors].)
I was bored the other day and tired of writing about self-esteem and classroom participation (is there a relationship? Maybe there is, maybe there isn't!), so I got it into my head to see if his picture was up at his law firm's site.
OH, IT IS.
And BOY, is it funny.
As I'm not terribly into disclosing the more personal details of my life, I unfortunately will not be able to give you his name, nor where he works so that you can join in the mocking. However, I did send the link to all my friends because let me tell you when that picture is PRICELESS, as it takes what he was when I dated him, and makes it That Much Worse.
Really, it's too bad I can't show you. You would laugh, and also question my sanity for dating for over two years someone who looked like that. However, in my defense, he looked much better back then. Also, I would not have let him have that hair if we were still dating today, although sadly, he did always use more product than I do. Then again, compared to some of the guys I've gone out with, I'm low maintenance. Actually, I really am. I can be left alone for long spells of time and entertain myself, plus I can get ready to go out in under 20 minutes. Anyway, that digression aside, I do agree that pictures on law firms' websites generally make everyone look like a jackass (maybe it's the light or something), but really, the hair. That's not the photographer's fault, that's his own damn fault.
What I can share are my friends' comments on that picture, because they give you an idea of gosh, how embarrassing it is for him.
He looks like a pimply-faced little teenager going to a bah mitzvah in that suit.If I could show y'all the picture, I would, because it's not just my friends being supportive in my general dislike of him. But I can't. So you can just use your imagination, and worsen it by about 100%.
His photo looks like he smells like sun-in and coconut oil. I don't think I would trust him on my case unless all negotiations would take place on surfboard.
That hair is a little out of control. He looks like a smarmy dipshit.
Could the hair be any worse??? I am REALLY wondering! How horrid. He really looked so attractive in the pictures you have with him... what happened???
I am sorry but I would never hire a lawyer who looks like that. What is up with the hair? This isn't the beach. This is about being professional.
ewwwwwww be so glad youre not with that douche
Lesson: Get your damn hair cut before you have to take a picture that can be publicly viewed on your company's website because your ex WILL look you up and send the picture 'round so that all can make fun of you.
(And yes, I win again, because hi, I am still way cute and I have GREAT hair and now he looks like an asshat. But that's only one of many reasons why I win.)
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