No stealing babies.
On my walk to school (yes! I walk! It is horrible!), I pass TWO playgrounds and ONE childcare center, and this is only within my first 3 minutes. (There is a second childcare center on the walk also, depending on which building I'm going to). Now that it is nice out, the playgrounds are teeming with adorable little toddlers, and the rest of the walk is filled with cute dogs and more adorable toddlers. (There are also obnoxious undergrads, but my selective vision screens them out.)
Now, everyone who knows me knows I want children. Like, yesterday. Okay, that's a bit exaggerated. I only want to borrow the kidlets for a couple of hours to play with them, then return them to their owners because I am not good at dealing with messes of any sort or with crying. (Sort of like how I want a puppy until it starts getting bratty, like the one we had.) My friends tell me on a semi-regular basis, "Stealing babies is bad, you are not allowed to grab them off the playground". Hey, if they want to play with me instead of the swingset, that's their perogative. Additionally, I would not be stealing them so much as borrowing them for a little bit. Semantics. It was great when I worked at the daycare at the French-American school, in that semester after I dropped out of med school where I did nothing (you can look at my planner to confirm this). I played with the little rugrats for three hours once a week, which fulfilled any baby-stealing/borrowing urges I had.
Of course I have given thought to my own offspring. I have preferred order of genders and names chosen. I also have some very fundamental characteristics that all my offspring must possess, otherwise I'm returning them.
- They must not be picky eaters. If Mommy wakes up and decides that she wants frog's legs for dinner - there better not be any whining.
- They must not be stupid. Because legacy will only go so far at my alma mater.
- They must not be ugly.