I do not talk to strangers.
Alternate title: Believe me, I am the worst girl to attempt to pick up in a bar and matters are made even worse when I'm surrounded by drunk friends.
Scene: Out dancing. Again.It was a lot funnier when we were all drunk. Something gets lost in the retelling. Oh, I know. Have like, 5 or 6 drinks. Then it'll be funnier.
Random male: Would you like a drink?
Drunk me: Huh? No, no thank you. [No, normally I would not turn down a free drink, especially when the guy offering is somewhat cute. However, I had just come off fending off some German guy earlier in the night (it only took him an hour to get the hint) and I was so drunk that I knew another one was not a good idea - and believe me, I had the hangover from hell the next day anyway. When I lose my appetite and can't eat my eggs and bacon, it's really bad.]
Druuuunk male friend: Hey, any friend of hers is a friend of mine! Who are you? Give me a kiss!
[Random male then actually full on kisses druuuunk male friend - who, incidentally, is actually very straight and dating one of my friends - to everyone's GREAT amusement.]
Random male: [shrugs] I am French. [Turns to me and introduces himself, then goes off, presumably to the bar.]
Me: How drunk are you?
Druuuunk friend: I'm just protecting you from the masses!
[And if that whole interaction wasn't good enough, the Random French male comes over and hands my drunk friend a drink - like he needed another one, and just walks off, without a word.]
Another friend, who'd missed all the action: Hey, what just happened?
Me: That French guy came over to talk to me, but ended up kissing him and buying him a drink-
Friend: Why didn't you let him buy you a drink? He's cute!
Me: But it was so worth it to lose a drink and a potential guy just to see that happen.