Obviously not right in the head.
Because I'm staying with an ex - okay, not so much an ex as someone I hooked up with for 3 years before I got tired of him and actually started a healthy normal relationship - next week.
Because I need to be in DC for part of next week, and all my friends there live in Bethesda, which is actually just outside DC. But you see, shithead lives in Dupont Circle, which if you know anything about DC geography, is actually located WITHIN DC. And we all know how I hate being on the outskirts of anything and how I need to be in the centre of things because otherwise I'm not a happy camper. It's all about me, you know.
Really, it made more sense to stay with shithead (yes, he's a different guy than fuckhead. Get the nicknames straight). I'm going to have to be running all over the Hill and whatnot, and he's so much more conveniently located. But obviously, I have a few screws loose (it's the croup), as I'm staying with him for 4 nights. FOUR NIGHTS. This is the guy whom I have seen only twice in the last three years because spending more than 15 minutes with his wannabe pretentious ass makes me want to smack him. So to answer that question, no, there will be no hooking up, unless he has miraculously changed overnight, which so is not the case. I am completely convinced that he was a virgin while we were "dating" - the proof, you ask? He did not attempt to have sex even ONCE in THREE years. And any guy, no matter how afraid of commitment he is (as shithead used to claim), would never go three years without trying to get into my pants in that way.
Why did I put up with him for so long, you ask? Ah, but he rowed crew, was 6'4 with lovely lovely arm muscles, had blue eyes and was an art history and classics major (read: the oxymoronical smart jock). It perhaps shouldn't be that much of a coincidence, however, that after he quit crew (and put on some weight), I started to toy with his head more and not with his body. I am nothing if not shallow.
My friends here think I'm just slightly nuts (again, blame the croup) to be staying with him. My friends from undergrad, however, were they to find out where I'm staying, would kidnap me and beat me senseless, for my own good.
Anyway, we've come to some sort of truce since graduation. And really, I don't wanna stay in Bethesda. However, I will be drunk most of the week in order to cope. So if I don't remember anything or my posting gets really bizarre, you'll know why.
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